You Could Die and I Wouldn't Care
by Holli-chan
Summary: Mello is really pissed off about a certain group of retards. Matt is there to help... sort of.


**A/N: Um, for a short period of time this story was replaced by one of the chapters from _Heartburn..._ I really don't know how this happened. It wasn't my doing, at least not my doing intentionally. Sorry for any confusion. But, to avert any suspicion that this was to keep the flamers from the LU away: THAT would be a lie. :) so yeah. I'm pretty much used to them, actually. So um... that's it. Here it is. Again. XD**

**You Can Die And I Wouldn't Care**

"WHAT THE FUUUCCCCKKKKK!"

Matt's eyes shot open at the sound of the explosive scream that had echoed from the other room. A scream that was most defiantly from the voice of his crazy-ass partner. Immediately concerned, the redhead leapt out of bed and raced through the house towards the sound of the voice. It wasn't so much the fact that Mello was yelling that concerned him, it was that the voice sounded as if it were almost in pain. And pain (of the non-physical variety) wasn't something Mello encountered very often to say the least.

"DAMMIT! DAMMIT! ARE YOU SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW!" Mello was shrieking, followed by a loud crash. Immediately Matt burst into the office room, a look of panic in his wide green eyes, and quickly threw himself into a ninja-pose to kick the ass of whoever was causing this.

The panic (and the ninja pose), at first glance, was uncalled for. Their lamp had met an untimely death against the far wall of the office, but this wasn't anything unusual. Mello, on the other hand, was fuming even more than was usual, screaming at his computer. "YOU CAN DIE! YOU CAN DIE AND I WOULDN'T CARE, SONS OF BITCHES!" he yelled, grabbing his gun.

Immediately fearing that the man would attempt to shoot either the computer or him out of blind rage Matt immediately bounded forward and grabbed Mello's wrists behind his back. The blonde struggled initially, cursing, "FUCK!" indignantly before he finally went limp and simply allowed Matt to embrace him.

"What happened?" Matt whispered tentatively, worry streaking his voice. Mello choked down an angry sob, shoving Matt away and collapsing fitfully into his chair.

"Freakin' LU happened, Matt. Freakin' dumb-fuck LU happened," Mello growled hatefully, sending a death-glare towards the screen. It's contents was a blog talking about something or another, but Matt didn't pay attention, fit to just listen to Mello's explanation. "They've been fucking with Fanfiction again."

"Fanfiction…?" Matt repeated slowly, frowning. Slowly, then, it dawned on him, and he grinned, amused. "You have a fan fiction account?"

Mello glared poisonously at him, and the grin vanished. "So not even the point," he hissed, spinning around in his chair and clicking through FFNet with irritation. "First they try and get rid of the lemon, then they come out with this dumbass RedBotton bullshit… Now I have to back up all my stories and shit…" Mello sighed, glaring at the flood of messages he had gotten regarding the RedBotton issue, and screaming at it, "YOU COULD DIE AND I WOULDN'T CARE, YOU LU ASSFUCKERS."

"Aw, Mells…" Matt said slowly, carefully, brushing his hand through Mello's hair. "I'm sorry… I can understand, though…"

Mello blushed a bit angrily, looking up at the redhead with curious blue eyes. "R-really?"

Matt snorted. "Pft. No, not really," he replied, laughing a bit at his own stupid gag. Mello slapped his hand away grouchily, spinning around in the chair and clicking away at the keys. Matt sighed, rolling his eyes, and ruffled Mello's hair. "It'll be okay, Mel. At least you still have chocolate."

"And your dick," Mello reminded him eloquently, flashing him a coy smile before going back to muttering curses at his computer screen. Then he frowned. "LU will probably ban that one, too."

"Well shit," Matt muttered, sighing. "They sound like a bunch of retards to me.""They are," Mello told him. And then, just for the record, he added, "When I'm done with this, I want sex. And some chocolate. Perhaps at the same time."

Matt frowned. "To cheer you up or just because you're a creep?"

Mello considered this thoughtfully before replying, smiling a bit as he did.

"Both."

Matt shrugged and went off to retrieve lubricant and chocolate chips. Good enough answer for him.

**Authors Note; This authors note was too long. A few people wrote to me KINDLY and RESPECTFULLY (aka without pointless flaming that only pisses me off) and asked me to remove it, and so I did. If you want to hear my rant (again) it's on my profile. :P or at least part of it. Thanks.  
**


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